My earliest memories include riding behind my sister on the three-wheeler and making mud pies in the dirt. I am not sure if the reason my older sister and I were encouraged to do things like ride ATVs and wander through the woods shooting BB guns at birds had to do with the small rural community in which we grew up, or if the fact that my dad had no sons who he could take fishing had something to do with it.
I was five when my parents divorced and my sister and I moved out with my mom. My dad took a new job where he traveled most of the time. Although we visited my dad occasionally, we spent most of our time with our mom. After the split, my sister who is eight years older than me remained interested in the activities introduced to us by our dad. I, however, rarely joined her. I preferred to stay inside and play with my Barbies or bake something with my mom. I remember my sister asking for a paintball gun for Christmas one year, and soon after that she got a four-wheeler as an eighth grade graduation present. I always asked for things like Easy Bake Ovens, dress up clothes, and dolls, and as I grew a little older I asked for clothes or the newest boy band CD.
Being the youngest, I was always the shy, more sensitive “mommy’s girl,” (which I still get teased for today) and my sister always seemed to be the independent one who wasn’t afraid to get into trouble. I have to wonder if this has to do with fact that my father was largely part of my sister’s life for thirteen years whereas he was essentially only in my life for five years. The fact that my sister became a power-lifter in her teenage years and never took any crap from boys might possibly have something to do with the influence of my father for much of her early life. She is now married, loves the outdoors, and is still one of the toughest women I know. As of recent, she does not want to have children. I, on the other hand, still cling to my mom, am told I am still quite timid, would much rather stay inside and bake a cake, and hope to someday have lots of babies.
There is an interesting contrast between my sister and I. It is difficult to determine exactly how this distinction came about. It could be the fact that she is the older sister and I am the youngest. It could be the personalities we have been given. It could be the difference in the presence of our father in our lives, or it could be a mixture of many things.
I am excited to hear the stories of other individuals and families, to learn how they were raised, and what factors may have contributed to the person they have become.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Identifying Our Assumptions - Philita Johnson
For many years, the world has had a conflict with “gender roles”. Gender roles are collections of factors which answer the question, “’how do I need to function so that society perceives me as belonging or not belonging to a specific gender? Some people would include appearance, sexual orientation, and methods of communication under the term, but I think it makes more sense to think in terms of things like jobs, economic roles, chores, hobbies, in other words, positions and actions specific to a given gender as defined by a culture.
Sexual appearance and sexual orientation is what distinguish a person the most. Sometimes these characteristics can come from a way people talk. For example, if a boy sounds like a girl when he speaks, people automatically assume that he is a girl. When a girl dresses in baggy jeans or sweats, people think that she is a dyke. Even in the business world, things can get hectic because in some businesses; men tend to make more money than women.
In the 50s, gender roles used to take place as they do today. Women were treated badly and they were not acquired to play a part in men roles as they do today. Women were not allowed to work or vote. Men were the ones who went to work while the women at to be stay at homes wives. They were required to take care of kids, cook, and clean. Basically they were the ones who kept everything in order at home.
When I was young, I was always taught that “girls wear pink and boys wear blue”. I was also taught that “girls play with dolls and boys play with trucks”. I never asked why, but I knew that there was a reason for being raised that way. I guess people just used it as a way to distinguish boy----girl gender. I think that gender roles should be ceased in today’s generation. They are not as bad as they were back then, but I still think that there should be some sort of guidance as to when and where gender roles should end. It was a depressing way of how the roles existed back then for the women because they were the ones working hard at home day and night. The world would be so much better and we would have a totally different outcome of the way we perceive the world to be in our generation.
Sexual appearance and sexual orientation is what distinguish a person the most. Sometimes these characteristics can come from a way people talk. For example, if a boy sounds like a girl when he speaks, people automatically assume that he is a girl. When a girl dresses in baggy jeans or sweats, people think that she is a dyke. Even in the business world, things can get hectic because in some businesses; men tend to make more money than women.
In the 50s, gender roles used to take place as they do today. Women were treated badly and they were not acquired to play a part in men roles as they do today. Women were not allowed to work or vote. Men were the ones who went to work while the women at to be stay at homes wives. They were required to take care of kids, cook, and clean. Basically they were the ones who kept everything in order at home.
When I was young, I was always taught that “girls wear pink and boys wear blue”. I was also taught that “girls play with dolls and boys play with trucks”. I never asked why, but I knew that there was a reason for being raised that way. I guess people just used it as a way to distinguish boy----girl gender. I think that gender roles should be ceased in today’s generation. They are not as bad as they were back then, but I still think that there should be some sort of guidance as to when and where gender roles should end. It was a depressing way of how the roles existed back then for the women because they were the ones working hard at home day and night. The world would be so much better and we would have a totally different outcome of the way we perceive the world to be in our generation.
Identifying Our Assumptions - Derek Howard
What is gender? How do I stand at the vanguard of change while retaining my identity? These are questions that I ask myself as we embark on this endeavor. I think that often times we as a people try and view gender roles as a thing of the past. We want to believe that we are a changed people and that gender profiling and stereotypes are a thing of the past. As an early childhood educator I am in the unique position of being a man in a profession dominated by women. This is the opposite of what many individuals conjure up when they think of gender roles in society and over time. Sure, once upon a time men were predominant in grade-level instruction, but in the young formative years it has always been women acting as that first guide into instruction. I have spoken to many teachers over the years and have received mixed feeling on the subject.
As a man, I am looked at with praise and with suspicion. For every five
individuals that praise me for my desire to work with small children, there is one that seems to believe that I have more unsavory motives. This whole process has got me thinking however, about why it is such a dynamic emotional feeling for a man to be a teacher, when women have been doing amazing things in classroom for generations. I admit to wanting to do my best, but I, at this point, am nothing extra special. What bothers me is that gender roles have been so solidified that we praise one gender for doing something that another gender has successfully managed for years. If we are to ever reach equality then we must lend a helping hand to those that need to be pulled up from obscurity as well as down form pedestals.
As a man, I am looked at with praise and with suspicion. For every five
individuals that praise me for my desire to work with small children, there is one that seems to believe that I have more unsavory motives. This whole process has got me thinking however, about why it is such a dynamic emotional feeling for a man to be a teacher, when women have been doing amazing things in classroom for generations. I admit to wanting to do my best, but I, at this point, am nothing extra special. What bothers me is that gender roles have been so solidified that we praise one gender for doing something that another gender has successfully managed for years. If we are to ever reach equality then we must lend a helping hand to those that need to be pulled up from obscurity as well as down form pedestals.
Identifying Our Assumptions - Kara Shimer
When we were assigned this project for COR 401, I was unsure how we would tackle this project. There are so many different areas of how gender roles have dramatically changed over the years. For example, women used to stay home to cook, clean and care for the children while, the men were the breadwinners of the family. Today, there are some women who are the breadwinners in the family, while the men stay home to cook, clean and take care of the children.
I was talking to a friend of my family about this topic and she did not have a lot of good things to say. She took a different approach to gender roles than what I had in mind when we were assigned this project. For example, for her, it is really hard to see the change in gender roles because she grew up in a “normal” culture where the internet and TV did not display derogatory things, like it does today. She said, she feels sorry for our generation because we have to grow up in this society of sex, drugs, alcohol abuse, woman being portrayed as sex symbols, etc that is all normal to us, but not so much to her. She mentioned that she wishes that children could grow up like she did, where the internet and TV did not display those kinds of things and where all the TV shows were like the Brady Bunch or the Little House on the Prairie. Today, gender roles are a big culture shock to her and it is taking time for her to adjust to it.
We are taking our project at a different approach on how gender roles have changed over the years. We will be gathering data by completing multigenerational interviews and research to determine how gender roles have changed. I am anxious to hear everyone’s interviews and the opinions of others on gender roles.
I was talking to a friend of my family about this topic and she did not have a lot of good things to say. She took a different approach to gender roles than what I had in mind when we were assigned this project. For example, for her, it is really hard to see the change in gender roles because she grew up in a “normal” culture where the internet and TV did not display derogatory things, like it does today. She said, she feels sorry for our generation because we have to grow up in this society of sex, drugs, alcohol abuse, woman being portrayed as sex symbols, etc that is all normal to us, but not so much to her. She mentioned that she wishes that children could grow up like she did, where the internet and TV did not display those kinds of things and where all the TV shows were like the Brady Bunch or the Little House on the Prairie. Today, gender roles are a big culture shock to her and it is taking time for her to adjust to it.
We are taking our project at a different approach on how gender roles have changed over the years. We will be gathering data by completing multigenerational interviews and research to determine how gender roles have changed. I am anxious to hear everyone’s interviews and the opinions of others on gender roles.
Identifying Our Assumptions - Tara Wepking
I grew up in a home where little girls were expected to have their long curly hair tied up in a ponytail with a pretty pink bow clipped up to the top—where piano lessons were a must, not a maybe. Where dresses came with at least a foot of flounces and the sinking knowledge that if I got grass stains on the hems, there’d be trouble. I didn’t do well with this ideology—as soon as I could convince my mother to let me, I cut my hair into a short little bob and brushed the curls straight out. I started dressing myself in first grade and developed an odd sort of affection for brown stripes and sandals with socks, although in retrospect, I’d like to think that was more decided by my school’s dress code than any sort of defect in my personal style. But why did I feel the need to change in the first place?
I grew up in the age of Girl Power, but what did that really mean? I was too young to pick on the actual power lurking there. I had no knowledge of the riot grrl bands in the early 90’s; I was too young to know about any of the real feminist movements going on behind the scenes. Instead, I got the Spice Girls, and all of a sudden, girl power meant vinyl short shorts and platform thigh highs, and was this what we wanted? It certainly was when I was seven, pretending to be Posh Spice and lip-syncing on the playground (although in retrospect, Scary was totally the coolest one). I don’t exactly recall the first time I realized there was a problem—the first time I noticed that boys and girls were treated differently in some ways, but I remember a lot of bitterness towards the end of my seventh grade year, when my classmates Grant and Zach got to introduce the firemen to chapel and not me. When the boys got to watch the eighth grade viper eat the rabbit. Not that I particularly wanted to watch that rabbit die, but it would’ve been nice to be invited.
By the time I was sixteen, I was more aware of my surroundings. I’d started to read a little on my own, and I started dressing in black, as all great thinkers do. My best friend was a feminist going to protests on the weekends; I was thinking thoughts just to make my parents mad, and I felt like I was doing something. But as we begin to enter into this project, examining the intergenerational effects of gender, I’m forced to take a step back and ask myself—is this compulsion for change born anew in every generation?
My mother has a whole slew of photos at that age where we look as if we could be twins. Long dark hair, a sullen look, a slump to our shoulders as if the weight of the world was about to bring us to our knees, and black converse because… well, what other shoes do the rebel girls wear at sixteen? My grandmother looks at those photos and shudders, yet I specifically remember my great-grandmother looking just as exasperated when talking about the habits of her daughters throughout those years.
What it comes down to is this: some patterns of behavior are bound to repeat themselves. Although we might have a deep-seated respect and patience for the knowledge and experiences of our parents and grandparents, as young adults preparing to enter the “real world,” the six of us are entering into this project not just thinking we’re smarter, better, and generally more advanced than previous generations, but knowing we are—regardless of whether that fact is actually true or not. However, our goal here in this project is to trace just this kind of progression through generations of a family.
Viola, my great-grandmother, married at sixteen and had my grandmother, her first child of five, at seventeen. She remained married to that man for the rest of her life.
Betty, my grandmother, married at twenty-one and had her first child of three at twenty-two. She divorced her husband at thirty and remarried later in life.
Diane, my mother, married at twenty-seven and had me, her only child, at thirty-three.
How do these people and their individual experiences affect me? Do these cycles repeat throughout other families? Do the same patterns come up time and again?
I’m not sure, but I’m looking forward to finding out.
I grew up in the age of Girl Power, but what did that really mean? I was too young to pick on the actual power lurking there. I had no knowledge of the riot grrl bands in the early 90’s; I was too young to know about any of the real feminist movements going on behind the scenes. Instead, I got the Spice Girls, and all of a sudden, girl power meant vinyl short shorts and platform thigh highs, and was this what we wanted? It certainly was when I was seven, pretending to be Posh Spice and lip-syncing on the playground (although in retrospect, Scary was totally the coolest one). I don’t exactly recall the first time I realized there was a problem—the first time I noticed that boys and girls were treated differently in some ways, but I remember a lot of bitterness towards the end of my seventh grade year, when my classmates Grant and Zach got to introduce the firemen to chapel and not me. When the boys got to watch the eighth grade viper eat the rabbit. Not that I particularly wanted to watch that rabbit die, but it would’ve been nice to be invited.
By the time I was sixteen, I was more aware of my surroundings. I’d started to read a little on my own, and I started dressing in black, as all great thinkers do. My best friend was a feminist going to protests on the weekends; I was thinking thoughts just to make my parents mad, and I felt like I was doing something. But as we begin to enter into this project, examining the intergenerational effects of gender, I’m forced to take a step back and ask myself—is this compulsion for change born anew in every generation?
My mother has a whole slew of photos at that age where we look as if we could be twins. Long dark hair, a sullen look, a slump to our shoulders as if the weight of the world was about to bring us to our knees, and black converse because… well, what other shoes do the rebel girls wear at sixteen? My grandmother looks at those photos and shudders, yet I specifically remember my great-grandmother looking just as exasperated when talking about the habits of her daughters throughout those years.
What it comes down to is this: some patterns of behavior are bound to repeat themselves. Although we might have a deep-seated respect and patience for the knowledge and experiences of our parents and grandparents, as young adults preparing to enter the “real world,” the six of us are entering into this project not just thinking we’re smarter, better, and generally more advanced than previous generations, but knowing we are—regardless of whether that fact is actually true or not. However, our goal here in this project is to trace just this kind of progression through generations of a family.
Viola, my great-grandmother, married at sixteen and had my grandmother, her first child of five, at seventeen. She remained married to that man for the rest of her life.
Betty, my grandmother, married at twenty-one and had her first child of three at twenty-two. She divorced her husband at thirty and remarried later in life.
Diane, my mother, married at twenty-seven and had me, her only child, at thirty-three.
How do these people and their individual experiences affect me? Do these cycles repeat throughout other families? Do the same patterns come up time and again?
I’m not sure, but I’m looking forward to finding out.
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